@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
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@Matt_the_1st: It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim
@daviddeweil: If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision.
@joejwest: DOROTHY: What do these shoes do? GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame [tries new pair] And these? G: Wait- D: [clicks heels] [turns into hamburger]