@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
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@robfee: (At a funeral) Im so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose something you love. Last year Taylor Swift took her music off Spotify.
@PeachyPixel8: The greatest trick The Devil ever pulled was NOT letting his friends and family know he was good with computers.
@BigBec43: *does something weird* *looks around for witnesses* *sees no one* *does something weird, LOUDER*
@yassinovic89: Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.