@TimJohnish: "I see that you're wearing a black shirt, so I'm going to be extra affectionate today." -Cats
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@BreadFoster: Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky.
@panmidwest: Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep.
@wicce_podge: Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at.
@FancyNancyAnn: I hate when I drop my chili cheese dog in my car and then I have to eat my whole car.