@OutOnTheMoors: I see wed people.
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@notalogin: My favorite part of a date is the sweet, seedy flesh. Wait, sorry, that's my favorite part of a fig, I always get figs and dates mixed up.
@BigPlanetEarth: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Film reactions. Profit.
@batkaren: ME: I give you all my love and infection. HIM: Um. Don't you mean love and 'affection'? ME: ... HIM: ... ME: You should get tested.