@omgthatspunny: I see you have some graph paper. You must be plotting something.
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@LeeMifsud: "I saw a flock of cows today" "Flock of cows?" "Yes a flock of cows" "Herd of cows?" "Of course I've heard of cows, I saw a flock of them!"
@Jeffwni: - "I love Beyoncé... - Whatever floats your boat mate. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."
@kuusela34: I apologize for pinching your lips closed when you started telling me about your kids
@Humor_Fetish: Friend: "Did you bring condoms?" Me: "No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."