@HisDulcinea: *Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*

@markydoodoo: Me, an intellectual: A spam and banana sandwich would be called a spamananawich.

@michel_lesann: What psycho decided it was a good idea for kids to hunt for chocolate easter eggs right when the spring thaw reveals all the dog poop?

@AsgardianRose: Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no.

@TheRealNickKay: [MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.