@KentWGraham: I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says “Your sister wouldn’t have missed that.”
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@murrman5: Look, you invented bread and I invented knives. Let's combine forces and we could be the best thing since...well we'll think of that later.
@aPunch2theJunk: HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper "You should have killed me when you had the chance" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you.
@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.