@KentWGraham: I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says “Your sister wouldn’t have missed that.”
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@djdarrellripley: Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial...
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "You have lost a lot of blood." Me: "That's not good." Doctor: "It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."
@SpacemanQuisp: Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.