@xLiserx: I sexually identify as Nickelback because people are ashamed of how much they secretly enjoy me.
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@MomOnFire: The scar above my left eyebrow is from jumping out of a car to escape a Phil Collins song.
@mommywhitfield: Apparently, "I understand why some animals eat their young," is not a socially acceptable answer when someone asks you how you're doing. Whatever.
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*