@ericsshadow: I shake my bottled water so the H's & O's are evenly distributed.
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@JediGigi: Mom asked me what it's like being a single middle aged woman so I took a handful of cat & dog hair from my purse and threw it in her coffee.
@LuckoftheDraw86: So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?
@thejessbess: Waiter: Did we decide? Date: Yes, I'd like the Sirloin. Medium rare. Me: And I'd like the Remix to Ignition. Hot & fresh out the kitchen.
@ABurgerADay: Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to use knockout gas or whack me over the head with a canoe paddle. It was an ether/oar situation.