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@WittySassBasket: I shall play you the song of my people
@FlyJ_: I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work.
@goldengateblond: LIFE HACK: Make your waist feel dramatically smaller by accidentally trying on maternity pants.
@storming01: The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
@MacAnnabella: "That wasn't chicken in the Chow Mein"
I'd make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
@Reverend_Scott: Sorry I said "What is it?" when you showed me your baby.