@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.
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@itsa_talia: one time a friend asked me "how are you still single?!" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head
@KeetPotato: did you get the job? "i don't know yet" when will they tell you? interviewer: "keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"
@dafloydsta: Covering your ears and screaming "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN" is not appreciated by your coworkers. Apparently.