@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@cuppajosh: With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!
@Erroneous_Me: I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job.
@Bandersnaaatch: Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
@OBiiieeee: "Dad why'd u name me this?" I named u after the greatest athlete to ever live "Oh ok" Now let's go, Air Bud, we're gonna be late for church