@farleftcoast: I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
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@shopkins776: If there's a zombie apocalypse and you see one zombie taking a nap, that will be me
@michaelianblack: The only thing that would prevent my wife from going to Pilates class would be if they invented a more expensive form of exercise.
@TheRobCee: #1 complaint of armored car drivers? People they talk to along the way ending the conversation with "...and you can take THAT to the bank!"