@farleftcoast: I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@krisv_723: Oh, you asked if I had a perfect BEACH body. Now I see why you were confused when I said "Yes, I'm round, ripe & covered in fuzz."
@noog: Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."