@farleftcoast: I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
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@PaperWash: Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet
@IamEnidColeslaw: I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
@causticbob: When your prospective father-in-law asks:"Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?" Do NOT say:"Because I am tired of using my own"