@farleftcoast: I should really stop getting stoned before I shower. I think I just washed my hair 16 times.
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@LaceyNycole: 2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly.
@SocialustGal13: Really, 6 more inches of snow today. My front yard is getting more action than me.
@smilely_gal: 7 has started saying "your life just got better," whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit.
@stockejock: My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order.