@osoplain: I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
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@LeonEarlgrey: So embarrassing when you compliment a lady on her large belly and it turns out she's just pregnant.
@ColIegeStudent: College is like a Dora the Explorer episode; your professor asks a question, stares at you and then answers their own question.
@murrman5: [me out of breath] yeah I might be shooting a rap video so what? [wife home 20 mins early] is that why the dog is painted like a cheetah?