@hamersauce: i show up for work with my head stuck in a turtle neck sweater with eye holes cut in it
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@take2skw: I use words like "acquiesce" and "ubiquitous" in daily conversation and then I throw in a "for reals yo" just to stay mysterious.
@chrissyteigen: If you are flying out of DC on virgin today, check under your seat for a very large mom bra. It's like a talk show giveaway!
@Anon_imosity: [walks into bookstore] Me: do you have any books on turtles? Worker: Hard back? Me: Yeah, with little heads.