@TheDeadfishSays: I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
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@rockymomax: wife: [walks in door] so whats the big news? -the baby walked! wife: OMG where is he? -i sent him to the store for an ice cream cake
@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
@lovemydogduck: I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe.