@TheDeadfishSays: I sit in the corner eating my tortillas completely confused by this salsa class.
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@Mom_Overboard: Dog: Stop staring at me. I don't talk. Next time don't take so many Sudafed. Me: Wow, ok. Rewd. *grabs my unicorn's reins* Let's go.
@novocapulum: Dear America: it's called English for a reason. They invented it. It's not "English" spelling. It's correct spelling... This is a subtweet.
@PhilJamesson: A scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly. [I scramble to take off my full-body fly costume]
@msgwenl: Everyone who lined up 30 minutes early to board the plane is gonna be so mad when we all land at the same time.