@abbycohenwl: I sleep with a bat under my bed in case someone breaks in and wants to learn about echolocation
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@samuelhlowe: The best way to return any clothing left at your place is to do a drive-by with a t-shirt gun on her wedding day.
@TinaraMinus10: Hmmm, why don't we try reincarnation. Here, take this razor blade and I'll leave you alone for a few moments... -me as a therapist
@david8hughes: Therapist: were you bullied in school? Me: no Therapist: oh, did you have a different haircut in school?