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@Dani_Feld: I slept like a log last night.
A badger pissed on me.
@BriarSlyMadness: If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans...
...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you.
@KKAlThani: Ten years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash & Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, & no rope to hang myself with if I read this again.
@NouRahif: "Axe" is not going to help you get girls, unless you spray it in their eyes then quickly chloroform them.
@sickipediabot: So Harry Potter gets an invisibility cloak.. Does he sneak in and watch Hermione getting changed? No, he goes to the library
@KimmyMonte: Someone in Australia please tell me how my hair cut turns out tomorrow.