@realHamOnWry: I slept through my girlfriend's alarm this morning and hit the ground running after her husband threw me out the window.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ScienceMarchDC: People are asking if capes are welcome at #ScienceMarch - yes - but please think of the aerodynamics if it happens to be windy!
@robdelaney: When a celebrity tweets a whiny complaint at an airline, I vigilantly pray for them to get stranded on a runway for 72 hours.
@Doublelife64: Me to 4 yr old niece: your shoes are on the wrong feet Niece looks down and says: I don't have any other feet Outsmarted again.