@mellimelle: I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math.
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@leshnevsky: - How can you always be such a happy person? - I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible.
@itshotterhere: 9: Daddy, what starts with F and ends in UCK? my face: *look of horror* 9: firetruck! What else? me: nervous laugh *pours another drink*
@TheRealNickKay: [MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct.