@RobertPunchur: I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reba_aa: I want someone to push me up against the wall.. lean in.. and softly whisper... "I'll do your housework for you"
@jackmackenroth: If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once.
@AmyLondon: @funTweeters TIL:The phrase "I plead the fifth" comes from the minimum volume of alcohol one can blame for committing the alleged infraction
@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang