@BlondeFacade: I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's.
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@dreamthievin: One time I swallowed an entire box of Alphabits whole and the only thing I pooped out was the lyrics to a Nicki Minaj song
@AmericanGent69: Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor. Ok that's how I dance.
@dafloydsta: [death row] GUARD: Ok, here's your last meal. Bon appétit. CAT: *slowly pushes meal off table*
@timdonakowski: *stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*