@jjax44: I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.
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@daemonic3: U-HAUL, may I help you? "You have any moving boxes?" No all our boxes stay still "Well you better go- wait what?" Stop calling here, Dad
@protolalia: He paid me $150 for the "girlfriend experience," so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Be safe this weekend, otherwise your dumb friends will end up telling some local news reporter how you were always the "life of the party."