@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
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@pleatedjeans: me: can I buy you a drink? girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?
@GlumGeorgeLucas: My interior decorator quit on her first day on the job. I told her to paint all the walls in my house to be green screens.
@AdamBroud: Anchor:Actress Zooey Dechanel has murdered an entire town Co-Anchor:Lol who murders a whole town A:So quirky C:Haha America's sweetheart