@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
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@StoferComic: A picture's worth 1,000 words, which explains why Twitter only shows 14 percent of the images I post.
@Playing_Dad: [Heaven] Me: Can I come in? St Peter: *shakes head no* Me: Was it close? St Peter: *rolls out my lifetime internet history* Not really
@GuyThe_Guy: "Is there a Mr. Fields?" I say to my twelfth cookie, all the while knowing she's all mine.