@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
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@jonnysun: 5 lil monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off & bumped his head called the doctor & the doctor said U DO NOT HAVE A PERMIT FOR THESE ANIMALS
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.
@Laser_Cat: *two turtles strapping themselves to a sleeping cheetah* Just you wait, Carl! This is gonna be awesome!