@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Are hot dogs made from real dogs? Me: Would you eat them if they were? 4: No! Me: 4: Unless I had ketchup.
@PinkCamoTO: The "we're going to need a bigger boat" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store.
@Reverend_Scott: Me: "...american cheese, toasted." Her: "What kind of cheese?" Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted?" Me: "I'll just make it myself."