@OnlyFastEddie: I stick pins and needles in the people I don't like because can't afford voodoo dolls.
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@BourbonLuv: That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow...
@NoorShamma: Understand men, or die trying. Or try dying. Or quit trying. Or lie crying. Or cry tweeting. Or tweet trying, to understand men.
@ItsAndyRyan: Interviewer: Is it true you are the first duck to be made a duke? Duck: Please address me as 'M'llard'