@OnlyFastEddie: I stick pins and needles in the people I don't like because can't afford voodoo dolls.
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@_mindflakes: Doctor: We need to double your meds Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster? Doctor: We need to triple your meds
@TheRealMelskee: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, I'm guessing it's because they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
@thenatewolf: HER: it's so romantic when the power goes out ME: listen if we don't eat all this ground beef we'll have to throw it out