@treydayway: I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.
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@david8hughes: [wife leaving for the weekend] "Baby formula is in the cupbo--" "I think I know how to make a baby. Now go & enjoy your dad's funeral."
@Just_Lee_: Nothing says "We have no faith in our own products" like using a 16 year old girl in your anti-aging cream commercials.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: Which academic course did you find most difficult? Me: spinach Interviewer: you mean Spanish? Me: exactly
@wendchymes: Just once I want a man to sweep me off my feet and carry me to bed WITHOUT all the groaning, swearing and yelling out "DEAR GOD MY BACK!"