@treydayway: I stopped trying to be a thug when I found out there was something called a caramel Frappuccino.
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@joejwest: [creepy mansion] ME: That portrait is watching us MAN: No way ME: [goes right up to portrait] I'm vegan PORTRAIT: [rolls eyes] ME: I knew it
@LanieLalaBugs: Yeah yeah "Friends with Benefits" are cool but have you tried "Friends with Batteries"? Less drama!
@DaddyJew: "Welcome to money management. Have you all paid your $200 entrance fee?" "Yes" "Excellent, never give money to strangers. Class dismissed"