@Dawn_M_: I swear babe, I'm a virgin, it must be a miracle.
*Joseph rolls eyes
@GoldenSpirals: Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to.
@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.
@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
@HomeProbably: My son wants a new iPhone for Christmas and I'm having fond memories of when he couldn't talk.
@NewDadNotes: Angel: so you named this screwdriver a flathead cause it's head is flat?
Angel: What are you gonna call this other one?