@sexncake: I swear, even my ex lasted longer than my phone battery does.
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@KalvinMacleod: MOM: finish your dinner SON: I can't eat anymore, I'm full MOM: hi full, I'm mom DAD: *drops an entire steak onto his khakis*
@Dutch_50: Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret.
@BromanConsul: "BUT WE'RE DATING!" the blonde screams, "I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND." "You were" Hefner chuckles. "Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."
@robfee: Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.