@sexncake: I swear, even my ex lasted longer than my phone battery does.
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@PaperWash: Man's guide for a selfie: 1) Squint your eyes like your cool 2) Look off into the distance 3) Put your phone down 4) Don't take the selfie
@Black__Elvis: I once had a brush with Death and then a floss and a rinse; no woman wants to get intimate with a dark annihilator of souls with bad teeth.
@WilliamRodgers: Always be yourself... Unless you run into one of your exes... Then... Be a WAY more successful version of yourself...
@o__0Dev: Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me.