@TheCiscoKidder: I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
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@rockymomax: [first date] -so how do you feel about octopus? Her: I like em -Whew! [lets other six arms fall out of shirt]
@jokesuk: Woman: Does Viagra work? Pharmacist: Yes Woman: Can you get it over the counter? Pharmacist: Yes if I take two!
@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.
@kelownagoose: A grown mans' nemesis should not be a classmate of my 7 year old. But here we are. *knocks juice box out of her hand.