@RockKraller: I swear...I think restaurants with drive thru's identify the dumbest employee and say "here, you get to wear the headset"
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@Parkerlawyer: *buys almond milk* "I'm gonna get healthy!" *drinks almond milk* "This is gross." *pours Hershey's chocolate syrup in milk* "Perfect."
@Reverend_Scott: [Fortune Teller] "I see great wealth, also danger." Oh. "And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled." Are you watching Breaki- "Jesse is so hot."
@lawblob: son let me tell you about the birds and the bees... I left a window opened and they flew in and now I'm scared to go in that room
@Carbosly: Did you know pigs have orgasms that last 30 minutes? This is God thanking them for bacon.