@SarahR_82: I tailgated a cop who pulled out of the doughnut shop so he'd know what it feels like when he follows me from the bars.
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@bourgeoisalien: Hey, Christianity- what's all the fuss about a virgin anyway? I could be a virgin if I wanted to. But I don't. Because sex. Also? More sex.
@pauleggleston: I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me.
@MakesYouGiggle: Me: I just want to sleep! Brain: AND I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT EVERY LIFE CHOICE YOU'VE EVER MADE! Bladder: Oh & don't forget about me.