@Dutch_50: I take a prop microphone wherever I go. If a reporter sticks a mic in my face during a tragedy, I can pull out my own and return the favor.
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@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed
@secondofhername: If you reply with "sky" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless.
@markedly: ACQUAINTANCE: So funny seeing you in the grocery store ME: Yeah ha ha *opens door in freezer section* well this is me lol see ya