@joeyhuggles: I take all of my relationship advice from Animal Planet.
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@zwina_summer: My husband asked me why I never blink during sex, I told him there just isn't enough time.
@BriarSlyMalice: NO...I don't "make plans" because plans suggest INTENT... ...which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions.
@david8hughes: [baby wakes up in the middle night] "Go back to sleep, hun. I'll sort it out." [puts baby on eBay]