@Breadery: I taught my daughter to whistle a few days ago and now I'm teaching her that whistling can lead to adoption.
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@AndrewNadeau0: I eat something every 29 minutes just to ensure no one can ever make me go swimming.
@jonnysun: giv a man a fish adn he'll say "wat is this i ordered a mcflurry" teach a man to fish adn he'll say "how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"
@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.