@RealSudoNim: I tell women I can't open that jar because I have a headache.
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@novicefather: I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit.
@Dadpression: "This may be our 85th viewing of this movie, but we'll watch it as intently as if it was only our 23rd" -Toddlers
@thefosterer: If I ever lose my girlfriend in the mall I just start checking other girls out and bam there she is yelling at me