@RealSudoNim: I tell women I can't open that jar because I have a headache.
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@runawaycupcake: Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired
@doktorj: Teach a man to fish and you'll have a lot more precious time to yourself in a quiet house with no one wanting something every 15 minutes.
@HenpeckedHal: "One for me, and one for the person I love most," I say, grabbing myself two beers from the fridge.
@shashaintl: I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again.