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@Marcmywords2: I texted my ex,
I'm at a cemetery.....
wish you were here.
@ImABaconDonut: 5: I went potty.
Me: Did you remember to wipe this time?
5: It's faster my way.
I don't know how to counter that argument.
@stephaniehas: No autocorrect, I do not want to organism all over his face.
@Pro_Jones_: (Halloween Party)
Friend: What's your costume?
Me: I'm dressed as "A total disappointment"
Friend: But you always wear that
@KentWGraham: My two teenagers are very different. My son always wants money, whereas my daughter prefers the convenience of my credit card.
@SomthinBoutSara: Just watched a guy in a shirt that read "Jedi I am" trip on a curb and fall.
Jedi you are not sir