@diarrhea: i think a group of white people should be called a brunch.
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at condiment counter] *does shot of ketchup* Me (gets in kid's face): Wait your turn, punk Wife: Oh no...he's getting sauced up again
@JamieLinks: Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died.
@LizHackett: I overheard a dad at Starbucks tell a kid not to tell Mom he got a cake pop for breakfast, so I guess I'm part of their web of lies now too.