@LuvPug: I think between the two of them, Kim & Kanye had enough money for a box of condoms.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: I WISH I WERE PAC-MAN SO WHEN I GOT UPSET I COULD EAT SOME CHERRIES & EVERYONE AROUND ME WOULD TURN INTO GHOSTS
@VerifiedDrunk: If God wanted to impress me with his 'miracles' he would've impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day.
@schumoo: When I was a kid I vowed that when I grew up my freezer would always be filled with ice cream bars. Meet my wife, the dream killer.
@JJSummertime: If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll.