@illuminatedwndr: I think global warming is real because you hardly see The Penguin on episodes of Batman anymore
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@Kirangandhi: HORROR STORY- U are the only one alive in a post apocalyptic world. U tweet and it gets retweeted!
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: Omg all the kids are asleep! I can finally sit and relax! Dog: Yeah. About that. *pukes all over living room*
@JohnHilsen: Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18,000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space.
@Urfavgoodboy: You wanna take this outside bro? You sure bro? It's awfully chilly bro. Hold on bro, let me grab my scarf.