@LeahsLounge: I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
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@UncleBob56: Cop: You appear intoxicated. Can you walk this line? Me: No problem. Stay in the car Grandma G-ma: Can he use my walker? He's been drinking.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
@iwearaonesie: If you start smacking people with your wife's purse she won't ask you to hold it for her anymore
@Reverend_Scott: "I love the Fall, the trees are so pretty" It's fall?? "Ya, so what?" [leaves start attacking everyone] OMG THE LEAVES HAVE TURNED