@AbbyHasIssues: I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table.
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@i_theindian: When your nose is running and your feet smell, you are not sick you're just built upside down.
@wickedsuga: Don't just assume I'm crazy. Let this wedding album I photoshopped you into speak for itself.
@ReeseButCallMeV: I just cleaned out my purse. So, I'll be having a garage sale later this afternoon.
@thepunningman: [first date] "What's wrong?" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] "You mean ambience" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO