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@ehdannyboy: I think I might have a shower.
Yes, I have a shower.
@fart: still my fav achewood
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car as being stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the rear window are white.
@leechee420: Friend asks me to be her maid of honor:
M-What do I have to do?
F-Well I know you, so I'm expecting very little.
@TheMichaelRock: The worst part about winter is how the ground is hard and crunchy and it makes me constantly crave nachos.
@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.