@JulieSnark: I think it would be great if ice cream licked you back.
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@LMLMadness: My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet. I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them.
@N0pantz: Watch your wedding video backwards. You'll love the part when you take your ring off, walk away from the altar, & leave with your friends.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it.
@JermHimselfish: My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw.