@MelvinofYork: I think my daughter is starting to take a dim view of Santa because she's asking things like "can the elves leave if they want" and "does he help make toys or does he just sit there"
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@climaxximus: therapist: you need to enjoy the little things me: like ants therapist: not exactly me: [nodding] baby ants
@mommajessiec: Me: *driving* Look, kids, it’s Godzilla. Kids: Where? Me: *pointing* There! The big giant lizard. You can’t miss him. Kids: WHERE! Me: He’s picking up our car. Kids: WHERE?!? Me: He’s hurling us through the air. Kids: *crying* I DIDN’T SEE HIM!!
@ericsshadow: [wife frantically searching the house] Have you seen the kids, I've looked everywhere [me napping on couch] OMG HOW LONG HAVE WE HAD KIDS