@_InsanelyNormal: I think my husband cheated on me. Not one of our kids resembles him at all...
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@ericsshadow: "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE" KID: *goes kicking and screaming* TEEN: You can't do this, I have plans tonight ADULT: Thank you so much
@NoogsCorner: Witch Logic: I have the magical ability to turn any item into a flying vehicle. I guess I'll use that broom.
@Jenny4ashley: Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? *teleports two inches to the right*