@fred_dog: I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep.
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@hgracestewart: It's been scientifically proven that women who worry are smart. I must be a freaking genius.
@KeetPotato: wife: we should go before you saying something stupid me: ok wife: [to widow] lovely funeral service me: yeah lets do this again sometime
@WilliamAder: Glad I'm not a general, because auto-correct just changed "lunch order" to "launch order."