@fred_dog: I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep.
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@MoneypennyNaked: Married girls are so lucky. They can post anything they want on here because they already tricked some dumb guy into marrying them.
@AyeGimp: Stand in a crowd, put your finger to your ear secret agent style, say out loud "target is in site!", see who panics.
@DanKCharnley: Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)
@PaulyPeligroso: Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him.