@thesulk: I think Sandra Bullock chooses movies based solely on the number of times she can say "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"
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@david8hughes: [bank] I'd like to pay this into my account [empties pockets full of cat teeth] OMG I'm so sorry [takes card back] that's the wrong account
@GianDoh: If someone says "With all due respect," what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you.
@TheScamJoanne: *two minor inconveniences happen at the same time* me: *needs to lie down for 3 days*
@kennyflorian: Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake.