@Matt_The_1st: I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
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@TheMichaelRock: Something you may have in your house right now could be killing your children. We'll tell you about it in 2 days. - Local News
@Tmoney68: If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
@bea_ker: Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a "thirsty boy"
@my_minivan_life: Just told my two kids that I love them both equally and the one with his shoes on the wrong feet totally bought it.