@Matt_The_1st: I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
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@crimson_n_aqua: Had a discussion with my boss about how lanyards can strangle.... conversation took a turn.... I am either fired or getting a HUGE raise x2
@Losephine: If you're reading this fortune cookie, I am being held at the Golden Dragon Dumpling Outlet against my will. Send help.
@SufficientCharm: 5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now
@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes