@Home_Halfway: I think the scariest part about having triplets is having to be pregnant for 27 months.
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@HabeasDorkis: I don't wear sunglasses because it's unfair that a photon travels 93 million miles and then when it's an inch from my eye I'm all "um, no."
@Stabby_smurf: If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony.
@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.