@iRowlf: I think these bikers are coming over to give me a group hug because they like the Hello Kitty stickers I put all over their motorcycles.
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@juliussharpe: If Apple has taught me anything, it's wait to see the "Steve Jobs" movie until they release a second version.
@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.
@Jazzzzzmina: After watching Honey Boo Boo, I realize America has much bigger problems than the national debt.
@Smooheed: I'm not saying you've had too much Botox, it's just that you should still be able to shrug your shoulders