@Sal0630: I thought a drone was the sound women make when you're trying to watch the game?
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@LoveNLunchmeat: My kid asked how the Easter bunny gets inside the house and I'm very uncomfortable with the amount of lying this parenting gig requires.
@holly_hjk: If a group of necrophiliacs ran into group of zombies...who would do the chasing? Oh, I went there...;)
@WrongPandas: [at funeral] Me: "I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice" Widow: "please no.... Me: "you have my gondolances"