@Sal0630: I thought a drone was the sound women make when you're trying to watch the game?
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@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .
@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
@thepunningman: "How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?" 384 my liege "Ok, round them up" 400 my liege