@BooFricketyHoo: I thought I had life all sorted out, and then the wind blew.
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@spcycucumber: Its not what it looks like officer! "you were driving down the highway taking selfies singing n'sync" Ok I guess it was what it looked like
@That_Damn_Duck: Superman is depressed because he has to change in dirty gas station bathrooms since the telephone booth is now extinct. Poor Superman.
@IamEnidColeslaw: when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height
@ruinedpicnic: [Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector