@kellysdf: I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants.
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@causticbob: You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb.
@KKAlThani: Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.
@captainkalvis: DATE her: i just wish our relationship was a little more... spontaneous me (holding a lighter to the table cloth): ive got just the thing